Office Euphemisms

Ever since I started working in a corporate environment (has it really been six years?!) I’ve been amused by the official sounding terms working professionals use to denote different workplace staples like doing things last minute and sneaking away from the office. I’ve listed three business terms that are some of my favorites as well as what they really mean.

Immediate Action Item

• A forgotten tasks that needs to be done immediately to cover everyone’s behinds

Off-site meeting

• An excuse to get out of the office, usually under the pretense of an important meeting.

To Run Something Up The Flagpole

• The person saying this admits she/he does not have the authority to approve the request and needs to ask a superior with more power.

To Take a Conversation Offline

• To discuss something in private one-on-one rather than in front of a group. This phrase is usually invoked when someone is uncomfortable but it is usually done under the pretense of not wanting to waste others’ time.

What are some of your favorite office euphemisms?

my assignment

My B2B (business-to-business) company sells hi-tech equipment to customers in a variety of different industries and is therefore looking for tradeshows to go to in order to get the company’s name out and to show people the product. My assignment is to basically find out where and when the tradeshows are. This sounds much more simple than it actually is.

I am going to be focusing on three industries (at least for now…). I must research numerous different professional organizations, associations, and clubs within these industries. Most of these organizations operate at both a national and state (or “area”) level. I must contact every chapter and determine whether they have a convention or tradeshow where my company can either send a speaker or be a sponsor. I will using a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet to keep track of chapters’ and contacts’ information, the number of events per year, whether we would be able to get involved, how much everything costs…

I’m a little nervous because this is the kind of thing that I could end up either doing really well or just really poorly. If it doesn’t go well at first, or if I get overwhelmed, I can just see myself pushing it off and avoiding completing it. Which, I obviously can’t do. My plan is to break up the assignment to make it less overwhelming and more enticing or else I’ll end up looking like this:

I would have benefited from UCSD’s Learn at Lunch lecture: “Just-in-Time Management: Instant Cure for Overwhelm” given by Nanci McGraw. The following describes my problems perfectly.

If you really “wanna,” says McGraw, you can avoid the dual pitfalls of perfectionism and procrastination that hold many people back. If everything’s got to be perfect before a task moves forward, for example, it might never get done. Sometimes, says McGraw, “pretty good is good enough,” especially if the alternative is inaction or lack of progress. Procrastination’s not always a bad thing, she says, again citing her father’s Western wisdom: “Some things deserve every amount of procrastination you can muster up, ‘cuz you hadn’t ought to be doin’ ‘em anyway.” (WOW!) But at work, putting things off now usually creates larger problems and more work later.

So, I guess when I’m trying to tackle this assignment, I’ll remind myself that I just have to get it done. First place to avoid procrastination and perfectionism: drafting a really good letter to send to all these people.

a phone call, an interview

Today, in the middle of typing up a Management final exam study guide, my phone rang. The screen of my phone is broken and I was expecting a call from Andrea, so I answered with a cheery “hellllllooooooo!”, only to be met with “Can I speak with Julie please?” I recovered quickly and listened as the woman on the phone told me that she had received my resume, and asked me to tell her about myself and my past internship experience.

Oh, did I mention that I had woken up five minutes earlier and wasn’t so composed? I told her that I was involved on campus, I felt that college should be more than just classes and I like the fact that I have an invested interest in my school. I told her that at my company, it was just me and my boss in the marketing department, so I got to do everything from press releases to event managment to… (I don’t remember what I said).

She asked me what my favorite part, and I said the event planning because I was able to interact with our customers and partners, and hear their stories and inputs. This was a good answer because apparently the internship I applied for involves a lot of talking and interacting with people. She asked me if I would be able to do that, and really, I wanted to laugh. That’s so me.

The job is in Boston, which is a little disappointing because I’m really trying to find an internship in Washington, DC, but it’s just not happening. We set up an interview for Monday at 12 noon. Hopefully by then my car will be up and running.

Currently, I’m debating whether to cancel the intervew all together. I’m sure there will be plenty of other things I want to do my first day back home. And really, I’ve got two other internships already lined up, much closer to home and hopefully less stressful. On the other hand, I could use some interview practice, and maybe this internship will be really interesting.