Dating 2.0 – DOs & DON’Ts

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I date. I dig Social Media. And I spend a lot of time thinking about both. Because the problem is, like I always say, that in dating and in social media, it’s the blind leading the blind.

So when two articles came across my desk (well, my computer screen, to be really precise) yesterday about dating in a digital world, I was reassured that I’m not the only one grappling with questions such as Do Technologies Like Facebook, Twitter and Cellphones Affect Dating Compatibility? and Has Facebook has ruined the first date?

Well, now, I think it’s time to pin down some answers. And that is what has inspired the latest feature of “The Misadventures of Julie”: Dating 2.0 – DOs & DON’Ts.

Each week we’ll tackle a dating situation made sticky by this wired world we live in. I’ll ask for your opinion. I’ll give you mine. It’ll be fun, I promise. And maybe we’ll even set some standards along the way. 🙂

Without further ado, I give you this week’s digital dating dilemna:

You meet someone. You become Facebook friends. You want to get in touch with this person. You realize that he/she has his/her phone number is posted on his/her profile. Can you call him/her using the phone number found online? Or contact him/her in a different fashion and ask for his/her number that way? What do you think?

Read on to see what I have to say:

Julie’s Take:

I say it’s a “DO”. If a person’s information is available, he/she should be aware of the potential that others will find it.

For example, I have my phone number on my Facebook profile, although only for my friends and those I have met in real life. On the other hand, my address is much more protected and a more select group of people have access to it.

However, use some common sense and take a second to think about how this person will react to your phone call. Does he/she know who you are? Has he/she expressed an interest in getting to know you better in any way? We may live in a Dating 2.0 world, but Dating 101 remains the same.

Have a Dating 2.0 question of your own? Submit it here and you may just see it on “The Misadventures of Julie” in the future!

http://piecesofg.typepad.com/ David

I should preface my response by saying that I’m a severe online stalker. I will go to great lengths to find out details about someone I’ve met. Nothing illegal. And nothing I’d be embarrassed about sharing down the line. But I certainly get information.

That being said, I think a phone call is a different form of “invasion”. Why do we have a Do Not Call list and not yet a Do Not Email/Mail/Facebook list? I think there’s a reason…

In this scenario, I would enjoy the privacy of the privata FB message and get the ball rolling that way – and hope the offline avenues are offered shortly thereafter.
http://dsaxman.com dsaxman

Julie – I had this conversation with a friend over the weekend – great timing 😉 I think I’m fairly old fashioned in certain aspects, and phoning/texting before *you* give me your number is a definite don’t. If there’s some expedited situation in which I need to get in touch with you, in a really extreme circumstance, that might be the only exception, but it’s just polite for me to wait for you to give me your number (ahem.. winkwink). It’s more of a convenience for friends to have it posted there, not an invitation to give me a call out of the blue, and I will *not* be happy if you decide to start texting me jokes and so forth without me saying it’s okay to do so – so in that regard, I think it does *help* the first date/dating experience in that you can filter out the people who don’t have that sense of invitation if that is something that you personally are concerned with.