2009 in Review
I think it’s important to take time and reflect on one’s year. Unfortunately, it’s something that I only manage to formally do about once every three years. In any case, below is a survey that I’ve previously filled out in 2006 and 2003.
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
I began contributing to a 401k. I know that’s not exciting, but doing so really solidified my identity as an adult.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
In the past, I haven’t made New Year’s resolutions — I try to better myself every day so in some ways what others do at the beginning of the year, I do throughout. However, I do think there is a lot of value in writing down the ways in which one tries to improve. Keep an eye out for an upcoming blog post on the things I’ll try to do better in the coming year!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My maternal grandmother passed away in January 2009. It was an event that rocked my small family to the core and I don’t think we’ve yet fully recovered. (Read Dealing with Death in a Digital Age.)
5. What countries did you visit?
Although I did some travelling, it was all domestic. (2009 took me to Florida, New Jersey, New York, South Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania and of course back to Massachusetts.) I am looking forward to getting back to really exploring the world in 2010 – I already have planned trips to the US Virgin Islands as well as Mexico and have a grand European vacation in the works!
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
As of now, I have no idea where I’ll be in 2014. But this year, I think I would like to give more thought to the direction I see my life taking in the next five years. Regardless of whether I choose to carry out my plans, I think having long-term goals is something that I lacked in 2009 and would like to define in 2010.
7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The obvious one is January 6th, which was the day my grandmother passed away.
I think another day that will remain with me was January 20th — the Presidential Inauguration of Barack Obama. I am fortunate enough to live in DC and was able to “attend” the Inauguration. The feeling of excitement and of hope was palpable and an amazing thing of which to feel a part.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
This is a hard one. I’m not sure if this is my biggest achievement, but I recently took part in Hubspot’s Inbound Marketing University. I participated in 15 webinars and then took an exam on the material that was covered, becoming a certified Inbound Marketing Professional after passing the exam with a score of 100%.
It was very satisfying to seek out a program that allowed me professional development, to feel like I was learning and exercising my brain, and then to pass the exam with a perfect score and have something to show for my work…
9. What was your biggest failure?
Ugh. I joined a gym this past year but was definitely not as diligent about going as I should have been.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. For that I am thankful.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I bought a computer which was great until the hard drive crashed taking all my pictures for 2008-2009… I also bought a healthy amount of airplane tickets.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I have a friend with whom I became much closer this year and she was someone who was a much needed source of support and encouragement this past year. That certainly merits celebration.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I would never embarrass someone in a public space like this, so I am skipping this question.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Unsurprisingly, the majority went to pay my rent. I would assume most adults answer this way.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My visitors and my travels.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Hmmm… How about “Party in the U.S.A.” by Miley Cyrus.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? sadder. (At the end of 2008, I had a very positive outlook and was genuinely excited for adventures that were in my future. Unfortunately, 2009 was a hard year for me personally, so while I am again optimistic for the things to come in 2010 there is a part of me that is forever changed by this past year.)
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
While I think that I do take advantage of the fact that I live in DC, I would have liked to have explored the city more. This is something I’m recommitting myself to in 2010.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Sleeping. Seriously, I could have gotten a lot more done if I had been able to sleep less.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I’m spent Christmas Eve in New York and then took a bus back to Boston on Christmas Day. That evening, I ordered Chinese Food and went to see The Blind Side with my mother.
22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Yes.
23. How many one-night stands?
None. Never.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Desperate Housewives.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. Hate is a strong word.
26. What was the best book you read?
I have to say that reading Here Comes Everybody: The Power of Organizing Without Organizations
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I can’t get enough of Lady Gaga. Owl City is pretty great, too.
28. What did you want and get?
I had a grand plan of flying back to Boston in August to attend CountryFest featuring Kenny Chesney, an annual tradition with some of my friends in Boston, spend a week on the Cape with my family (another annual tradition) and then fly back to DC in time to attend a wedding of a college friend. Thankfully, everything worked out and I was able to do all three. 
Also, now that I’m thinking about it. I really wanted/needed to get new glasses. It was a very long process but in the end I came away with a pair that I love.
29. What did you want and not get?
I am extremely grateful to be at a point in my life where I don’t feel like there’s anything material that I am lacking. However, as I mentioned earlier, something that didn’t happen for me this year was finding someone with whom to share my happiness and success. (Read On Being Single.)
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Blind Side? I Love You, Man?
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 24 this past September. I celebrated at a local bar with a big group of friends the weekend prior and then went to dinner with a small group of female friends on the actual day.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I have a job I enjoy, great friends, and a supportive family. I feel fortunate to never be lacking in ways to spend my time but as I’ve mentioned, having someone special in my life would have made my year more satisfying.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Attempting to stay current on recent trends but with an emphasis on comfort. Professional yet fun. And well put together as much of the time as possible.
34. What kept you sane?
My friends.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None. I’ve never been one to “fancy” celebrities. I prefer to spend my time on realistic endeavors.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Marriage Equality. (Read Sexual Orientation Equality: The Civil Rights Fight Of Our Time.)
37. Who did you miss?
My grandmother.
Also, everyone I left behind in Boston.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I’m going to cheat on this one a little bit. I met one of my coworkers in September 2008, but we became very close in 2009 — She is a great mentor, friend, and source of support to me.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Stop when you are at your happiest to take the moment in. It will become what sustains you in the hardest of times.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
In Repair by John Mayer and Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls are two that come to mind.
Breaking Perfectionism Paralysis
Earlier this year, I wrote about how my perfectionism has fueled an aversion to answering e-mails. This was just an example of the “perfectionism paralysis” I often find myself in.
Recently, I’ve added a few personal finance blogs to my daily pile of reading. On one of these, Get Rich Slowly, I’ve found that a recurring is “The Perfect is the Enemy of the Good” — a theme that for obvious reasons (see above) has resonated with me. (In case you’re interested, the original version, “Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien”, was penned in 1764 by Voltaire in his Dictionnaire Philosophique.)
Applied to personal finance, the lesson JD Roth tries to instill in his readers is that rather than researching all the options of how one could be investing one’s money, it’s best to find an option that’s good enough — and just start.
I don’t know how Lexus feels about it, but Roth does his best to hammer home the point that the pursuit of perfection is an exercise in diminishing returns:
Let me repeat that – the pursuit of perfection is an exercise in diminishing returns. I’ve printed and posted the above graph to remind myself of this. For a perfectionist who self-admittingly struggles with the weight of every decision, this is a liberating concept.
Furthermore, Roth recently reviewed Barry Schwartz’s The Paradox of Choice. In the book, Schwartz discusses two types of individuals: Maximizers, who strive to make the best choice possible in every decision they make, and Satisficers, who make decisions once they’ve found a solution that fit the criteria, even if theoretically there might be a better choice available. What Roth found interesting – as do I since it reflects my reality – is that Maximizers are actually less happy than Satisficers. This makes perfect sense to me.
As I’ve mentioned, feeling the weight of every decision — striving to make the best choice possibly while fearing it’ll be the worst — is the way I’m wired.
In his book, Schwartz offers tips for Maximizers like me on how to put less pressure on every decision and consequently live a bit more stress-free. Roth does a nice job of summarizing and presenting about half of those tips. I think I might just have print them and post them next to my “diminishing rate of perfection pursuit” graph.
On Being Twenty-Three (And Adopting a New Life Philosophy)
The following was featured on http://www.vickiboykis.com/ as a guest post on September 4th. (Click here to see the original.)
Most people think of spring as a time of renewal. But for me, it’s always been fall that signifies things beginning anew: fall brings with it the beginning of school years, the Jewish New Year and my birthday. This triumvirate has caused the end of August / beginning of September to be a period of much reflection of who I am, who I’ve been, who I’m trying to become. What was I able to accomplish in the last year? What things do I need to work on? You get the idea…
This past year, the 23rd year of my life, was a rollercoaster filled with a lot of happiness but a lot of sadness as well. I made the hard decision to move away from my family, coworkers and roommates who were great friends, and I job I loved to see whether DC living would be as fun as I imagined. (And it has been!) I’ll always think of this past year as the year my world was rocked by the death of my grandmother. But it will also be remembered as the year I travelled, dated some great guys (and some not so great guys), and tried my hand at things like white water tubing and PHP coding all the while widening my support network and strengthening existing friendships…
Through it all I’ve solicited and been given a lot of advice. And there’s one nugget of (overheard) wisdom that has stayed with me; in fact, I think about almost daily. This magical phrase has in some ways changed my whole outlook on who I aim to become:
Consider everything and nothing a date.
Take a minute to fully take that statement in. Reread it. Now, let me elaborate:
(Hint: the advice applies to everyone, whether you are in a relationship or not!)
Consider everything a date. When we date, we take the time to put on a great outfit, make sure our hair/makeup looks great, etc. Before, during, and after, we are usually on our best behavior. Simply put, considering everything a date translates to an attempt to be at our best at all times.
Consider nothing a date. Dates are really fun – most of the time – but they do bring a certain level of anxiety. Some of the best dates are those that come together without pre-planning because there isn’t any pressure on the situation to be anything but what it is. Considering nothing a date means being in the moment and not worrying about things that are out of our control.
Achieving the attitudes I’ve described above is a lofty goal, I admit, thanks to a little thing called human nature, which tempts us to be lazy, jealous, obsessive, etc. But remembering The Date Principle has provided me with a framework through which I can strive to become a better person – which is how I measure the success of a given year. (Yes, I consider age 23 a success and hope I can say the same of age 24.)
However you define your “new year” – whether by calendar, age, academic level, or religion – may the next one bring only the best for all of us.
